If it feels like I’ve been M.I.A. for the last couple of years, it’s because I’ve been off gallivanting and, well, not posting about it. I can’t exactly pinpoint when the shift happened, but in my intro to Substack a few years ago, I talked about this evolution I was going through en route from North Carolina back to New York after the pandemic in the fall of 2021. TLDR: I was recovering from burnout while learning to re-enter my “normal” life and I realized that I had changed a lot during those years sequestered from the city. Jumping back into posting about the parties I was dreading going to, my beauty routines, and cute outfits felt forced, so I stopped.
The social media life I built has certainly been a nice-to-have over the course of my career, but there’s never been an aspect of my full time job that requires me to be active. In fact, I’ve chosen to not follow that path some of my peers took to become their own boss because 1) I enjoy the stability of the corporate world 2) I feel like I get to drive more impact through work outside myself and 3) I don’t want to look at photos of myself all day. The genesis of my personal Instagram world was a love of storytelling, creating, and getting to connect with so many of you who I’ve basically grown up with over the last decade — from graduating college and working as an assistant to dyeing my hair 5 different colors and moving to London. But suddenly, despite coming back to the city, I had this calling to stay in my cozy, insulated bubble, and I just didn’t feel like posting. It honestly wasn’t even that deep.
But I guess it was around this time that I started dating my now-boyfriend, Alex, who had just moved to Washington, DC for a job. Let me tell you: long distance sucks. It’s so excruciatingly hard. Although it’s been worth it for us, every time I hear of someone starting a new geographically-challenged relationship, my heart aches a little bit. Between the travel, logistical planning, and emotional periods of being apart, our relationship took up a lot of my energy, but it was refreshing and fulfilling. Earlier that year, I journaled about how much love I had to give and how I was ready to be loved back. Cheesy, I know, but when it happened (a story for another day), I let it wash over me. He’s the best and I love how he’s brought out my inner child, helped me let go of my ego, and bring me even more into the present moment. Until recently, the desire to post on social media rarely came up when I was with him. I’d like to say it was because I was respecting his privacy, but it was actually just because I was so present. I didn’t question it and still don’t because it felt so good and still does. It’s so special and I can’t wait for you to know this feeling if you don't already.
Everything started feeling more normal last summer when we had a regular routine splitting time between New York and DC. Work was going really well and I was starting to get back into my creative groove after getting home from the office, even drafting some posts for this newsletter I never ended up publishing because life smacked me in the face…
My mom was hit by a drunk driver on August 3, 2024. It was a seismic event for our family. Life wasn’t just paused like it was during the pandemic — it completely stopped. The experience was earth-shattering. I wrote about this on my Instagram a few months ago to keep people updated so ICYMI, I re-posted the story here. To see her go through so much agony and multiple near-death experiences during her 6 weeks in the hospital changed me forever. After 8 (!!!) surgeries and months of physical therapy, she is just now starting to hobble around and even that is a miracle. The statistics show how lucky we are for her to have survived, and I am crying writing this, just thinking about how grateful I am for the time we still have with her. Six months later, she’s physically in a better place, but we find ourselves in a state of metamorphosis yet again. We’re still learning how to move forward in a way that respects the life we built while honoring our new perspective on it all, forced upon us by a reckless drunk driver.
Back in that first post, I mentioned the “discoveries I would need more time to delicately unpack” and despite the new metaphorical boxes that showed up at my doorstep after the crash, I’ve unpacked a lot. My thoughts are not as organized as I typically prefer my closets and drawers to be, but most of the cardboard is gone, and I’m ready to start sharing bits and pieces of the contents with you. Last weekend was quiet for the first time in a long time, and amid the stillness, the spark returned.
If you’re new here, the reason I have a platform at all is because my inclination towards writing and pop culture led me to discover the beauty industry that I didn’t realize existed growing up in the suburbs of Pittsburgh. Working in magazines during the rise of digital media fostered my curiosity for new storytelling mediums, which led to my pivot to social media and technology. These are still the topics I nerd out about, and it still feels like my purpose to find ways to bring interesting stories to the world — whether it’s through the people and organizations I work with in my day job or in my personal time.
I’m finally ready to get back into the latter, so now I’m here, writing this for you (and me, I suppose), letting you know I’m different but the same. I have the same job, apartment, beauty products, clothes, but a new point of view and some new ideas. So let’s unpack those boxes, girlies. I know you have some too.
I’ve followed you for a long time on IG and I noticed the difference in your posting. I followed religiously during your mums accident and I felt relief when you posted she’d gone home. It feels as if I know you, yet I don’t. Reading this piece though, your voice was loud. Having heard you speak in your videos I could hear it in my head as I read the words. It was strange though as it felt like I was meeting an older version of you. Wiser. More at ease in your skin. Perhaps life has made us all seem older but these words felt real. Void of the polish that social media usually demands of us and I like it. I hope you write often.
Welcome back!!
Was so surprise to see the newsletter pop up in my inbox. But welcome back.
I love reading your writings.
Here’s to a great year ahead, and hugs and kisses to your Mum!! She is such a wonderful lady, and may her recovery journey be a speedy one.